He's Totally Fine.

This? Is my closet floor and what used to be my full-length closet mirror.

My handy husband removed some too-large-for-the-space shelving this weekend and, per my request, carefully removed the mirror from the shelving so that it could be reattached to the wall after the new normal-sized shelving was built. So, the mirror was leaning against the wall in the closet...

Until it fell over my baby's head this morning. Knocked him flat. Thank God for tempered glass and divine intervention. Is all I can say.

Not a single scratch on him. He did lose his Pop Tart though (the last piece of it is on the floor to the right of the mirror in the photo). Bummer.

I love him.

Little Hope for the Future

Someone who sounded about 12 years old: Hello? Papa John's. This is Tyler.

Me: Hi, Tyler. I ordered pizza about 20 minutes ago online and I haven't gotten an email confirmation yet. So, I was just calling to make sure that you received my order.

Tyler: What's your phone number and I'll check.

Me: 9xx-xxx-xxxx

Tyler: Oh yeah. It's here. Sometimes? The online ordering is retarded and stuff and the email never goes out.

Seriously. Tyler thought it would be appropriate to tell a customer that the computer system is "retarded." Papa John's employee training and, well, his parents have failed him.

Seven.

My beautiful boy. Is seven.

I vividly remember looking at the clock on the wall of the hospital room just before he was born. Wondering, I suppose, when he was going to make his appearance. And quite an appearance it was. Ten pounds, four ounces. And yet so tiny to me.

Now, he is over four feet tall and weighs 60 pounds. He answers the doctor's questions at his check-up by himself, without my help.

But I can still get him to snuggle with me on the couch to watch TV under a blanket. Just like we did seven years ago.

Lesson Learned? Probably Not.

Why are you taking pictures? Why won't you help me?

My Kickass Mudroom

We moved into our house almost two years ago. For two years, I have been wanting some built-in shelving and cabinetry in this weird little section of my garage.

My garage sits at a slight angle from the main portion of my house. This angle creates a bizarre triangular shaped entry-way between the car-portion of the garage and the house. The previous owners put hardwood down on this platform. It is huge and served as a ridiculous gathering spot for shoes, recycling, paper towels and crap for two years.

And then my husband decided to take a week off of work and hang out at home. And build me a mudroom.

This sucker is 9 1/2 feet long.

A bench! For kids to sit on. And put on their shoes! The shoes that won't be cluttering up my back hallway anymore!

A thing of beauty. Spots on the bottom left and right for my recycling cans - cardboard, glass and cans. Shelves for me to fill with crap. Space under the bench for baskets. Baskets to fill with shoes! A bench for my girl to sit on! Hooks for jackets and backpacks that will no longer be thrown on the floor of the coat closet or the floor of the back hall! Yay! (Go ahead - click on the photo for the full-size glory.)

A rockstar.

Twisted

I was watching M's dance class earlier this week and next to me was another mother and her probably second grader. They were waiting for another child in a gymnastics class. The second grader asked for money for the vending machine. Mom forked it over with the admonishment that he choose "something healthy." He said that he wanted a candy bar. Her response? "No! Something healthy! Like fruit snacks."

Really? Fruit snacks are healthy in her world? Marketing has won. She just told her kid that what is basically gummi bears is healthy because it has 1% fruit juice in addition to 1,457,839 ml of high fructose corn syrup.

When he got back from the vending machine with his Lays potato chips, she handed him his 1/2 liter of Dr. Pepper.

I am so NOT making this up.

Politics in the Primary Grades

Monday night, we asked the big kids who they would vote for if they could vote. G said "Brock" Obama. We asked why. He said, "I think he's just the right choice for me." First grade, people.

M, of course, being so in tune with the world, offered that she would choose "Jason McCain."

Then, last night at CCD (religion class), I asked my class of first-graders* who they all voted for at school. Several of them had stickers on their shirts which indicated that they had participated in a school election. I polled all eight of them as well as my 10th grade helper. 9 - 0 for Obama.

So, next time you need to know who's going to win an election? Just ask a bunch of kids who mix up the Our Father and the Pledge of Allegiance on a regular basis. Also? They refer to St. Joseph as Jesus' stepdad.

* I teach first grade Catholic religion on Tuesday nights. Yikes! More stories to come.