How the World Has Changed

For most of the summer of 1988, I was in the Netherlands, living with a Dutch family. It was some kind of exchange program - I can't even remember the organization that arranged the trip. It was the summer between my junior and senior years of high school.

Fast forward 22 years, my sister announced that she has a job interview in the Netherlands later this month and asked, via Facebook, if anyone had any Dutch language CDs she could borrow. I didn't but I did have my trusty Berlitz Dutch for Travellers still packed in a box in the basement. So, I dug it out to send.

Published in 1980, it was kind of old by the time I bought it in '88. But, I figured, it's not like the language has changed. So, big deal.

And then I leafed through the book.

Page 22 revealed the first major change. Marked "Arrival", it starts with the helpful phrase "Here is my passport" (or "Hier is mijn paspoort"). Things get a little dicey further down the page though.

In the subsection about customs, it says "As at almost all major airports in Europe, an honour system for clearing customs has been adoped at Amsterdam-Schiphol airport. Baggage is often not even opened, although spots checks are a possibility." I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that procedure has probably changed. Just a bit.

Conveniently, the book (not a dictionary, mind you - just helpful words and phrases for tourists) also contains the words for milliner, typewriter ribbon, carbon paper, cassette tape, record player stylus, film negatives and flash bulbs.

The section about money is all about the gulden or guilder - no Euros here...

There is also a section about the post office, mailing letters, sending telegrams and asking the whereabouts of a phone booth. There is no section about the internet, wifi or international mobile phone usage.

So, for what it's worth, I'll be popping the book in the mail to Cara tomorrow. Here's hoping she doesn't have to break out the phrase "Ik wil het graag laten wassen en watergolven."

'Cause that'll mean she went retro for her interview and asked for a shampoo and set at the beauty parlor...

First Confession (or Reconciliation as the Kids Call It These Days)

This is my church.

I was married here. My children were baptized here. I taught CCD (religion classes) here last year to first graders. A lot of lovely memories.

Tonight, we made a new one.

G made his first confession this evening. Officially called "First Reconciliation", this is an 8-year-old's first chance to say "Bless me Father for I have sinned..." and later rattle off the freshly-memorized Act of Contrition before bolting the confessional. Oh, and to be absolved his sins.

He had three choices of confessional priest tonight. Two sat in chairs in far-off niches of the church and took confessions face-to-face (or really shoulder-to-shoulder so the kids wouldn't have to actually confess their heinous second-grade sins while looking a priest in the eye). One sat in a traditional screened confessional behind the red velvet curtains.

(Not our church but the confessional looks basically like this one.)

G picked Priest #3 behind the curtains. Of course.

For those of you who have never been to Catholic confession (or have never seen of the hundreds of movies that depict confession), the old-fashioned way of confession looks something like this:

(Though generally without the pillbox hat.)

He waited in line. And was nervous. I told him that Father Bob was super nice and he had nothing to worry about. He knew his lines backwards and forwards.

Finally, he disappeared behind the curtain. Now, above our confessionals on the wall are two tiny lights - if either is lit, that confessional is occupied. Not sure how it's triggered but my guess is that the kneeler (the padded low bench at the floor) has something to do with it. So, I took a spot in a nearby pew and proceeded to watch that little light flicker on and off and on and off and on and off as my kid fidgeted his way through his first confession. (It's supposed to glow a steady light. As most people don't wiggle while confessing.)

And then he was finished. He found me in the pews. I asked him his penance - one Our Father and one Hail Mary. "That's it?" "Yep." "You must not have had many sins to confess. That's a light penance." "Yep." He knelt and said his prayers.

We then had a few minutes to quietly chat while the other kids finished up. I asked him how it went. "Great," he said. He wouldn't tell me what sins he planned to confess before we went - so I tried again.

"What sins did you tell Father about?"

"Ummm, I told him about not listening in class because I was reading something because I really, really like reading. But the not listening wasn't good."

"Okay."

"And I told him about that time that I diarhhea'd but didn't flush the toilet because I was really afraid I was going to clog the toilet."

"...."

"And that's it."

"You told him WHAT?"

"About that time that, you know, when I didn't flush because I was scared the toilet would clog."

And, so, gentle readers - that is how Father Bob won the "Best Confession of the Night" contest when he got back to the rectory. Poop.

Best. Confession. Ever.

Rock Chalk

Gotta love it! (Now if I can just get them to learn the Notre Dame fight song...)

Maybe I'm Just Slap Happy

My children have been at home, with me, in my presence, every day since December 18th (except this past Tuesday, which was the worst kind of tease). It is now January 8th.

Everything - school, sports, lessons - canceled "due to extreme weather conditions". I'm going a teensy bit insane.

Which may explain why I find this so funny.

Call the Nestle Crunch Hot line at 1-800-295-0051. When you are asked if you want to continue in English or Spanish, just wait quietly for about 10 seconds and you will smile. Promise! Keep going and press 4. Listen to the options, then press 7 (then press 9 and go back to hear others).

Seriously. Do it. And then tell me what you think!

The End of the Year, the End of the Decade

For the last two years, on December 31st, I have written in a family journal about our year. Our ages, our visitors, our trips, the kids' teachers' names, their activities, our jobs, our cars, our favorite restaurants and the like. I'll do it again tonight. And everyone will sign their name to our little family history.

So, I wasn't going to recap the year here - but then I saw all the other blogs doing it. And recapping the decade while they were at it. So, of course, I couldn't resist.

2009 was, well, interesting. I wouldn't call it great. Parts of it really sucked. But I think, when we look back at it in a year or two, we might identify it as the start of good times. I hope so at least.

The year:

* J's company shut the doors and he took about four months off of work. Which means he was home with us all day, every day for four months. And we're still married. Win!
* He started with a brand spankin' new company at the end of July in a huge leap of faith. Luckily, I share the faith but it has been hard, financially and otherwise. He's back to working very long hours.
* We celebrated 10 years of marriage in October. Took a long weekend to San Francisco to celebrate.
* Continued freelance writing (best year yet)
* Hit the tipping point on the KC Kids Fun site, great traffic, great advertiser response
* Launched a new business doing social media marketing for local businesses and am overwhelmed by the immediate response and work
* Got the little guys started in two days of Mothers' Day Out and reclaimed a little bit of my adult life and sanity
* Learned a lot about pediatric psych and social development issues (wish I didn't have to but you gotta do what you gotta do...)
* Spent a night in the hospital watching over my sick child (just one night, first ever and it was an asthma attack that calmed down fairly quickly - made me so, so thankful for the continued good health of all four of my babies)
* Planned and attended my 20-year high school reunion (Holy crap.)

The decade:
* Rang in the new decade with my new husband
* Got pregnant
* Had (very early) miscarriage
* Switched law firms
* Moved from first house to second house
* Got pregnant again and gave birth to a 10 lb, 4 oz baby boy
* Got pregnant again (whoops!)and gave birth to a more normal-sized baby girl
* Became partner in my law firm
* Paid off my student loans (all $85k of them. Christ.)
* Decided to quit my job as partner in my law firm to hang out with my kids
* Got pregnant again
* Found out it was twins
* Moved from second house to third house
* Gave birth to an 8 lb baby boy and an almost 6 lb baby boy on the same day
* Started freelance writing
* Started KCKidsFun with a friend
* Started K2Media with the same friend
* Stood by husband as he weathered two job changes and a horrible economy
* Watched my husband fulfill a lifelong dream of playing in a band and being adored by fans (and they are adorable - www.facebook.com/rockshowkc)
* Witnessed my children morph from little beans on a sonogram to lumps of cuteness to amazingly smart, funny, sanity-challenging, non-stop-talking, piano-playing, joke-telling, athletic (some more so than others), beautiful people

At the risk of sounding a bit melodramatic and of jinxing my good fortune, I thank God and everyone in my life for these blessings.

Happy New Year everyone!

Merry Christmas!

I think I'm actually going to shut down the ole innernets for the holidays now...here's a pic of my blessed angels. (I'm currently hiding in the office, trying not to kill each and every friggin one of the "angels" before Santa can get here. Day FOUR of winter break, people. Day FOUR. OMG.)

This is the photo on my Christmas cards, which were just mailed yesterday. Oh, do I ever have my shit together this year...

Anyway, Merry Christmas. I hope that yours is happy and peaceful and whatever you wish it to be.

Boy vs. Support Column