Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Joy




Theology, Age 5

"Mom, what is baptism?"

"Oh, it's like when we took the babies to church and Father Shea poured a little water on their heads and then they were members of the church for the first time."

"Right. And he held them up and they got the power of God."

"Okay..."

"Just like Simba, remember?"


Friday, June 22, 2007

Nursery Rhymes for a New Generation

In an effort to entertain the babies, my four year old often grabs a baby foot and recites a familiar rhyme:

"This little piggy went to the mall..."

"This little piggy stayed home..."

"This little piggy had roast beeth..."

"This little piggy had none..."

"And THIS little piggy went wee-wee-wee all the way home."



I just love that the big toe gets to go to the mall.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Lunch Conversation at Costco

M: Mom, did you know that pupae (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pupa) live in French?

Me: What is French?

M: You know, where they speak Spanish...

(I think this was inspired by the episode of Wonder Pets in which they save a caterpillar.)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

And then my five year old asked me what "BYOB" means. How does that happen?

Saturday, June 16, 2007

The Usual Suspects

Thing 1



And Thing 2



Apparently a future fashion stylist?





The one who started it all...

Friday, June 15, 2007

Dyn-O-Mite!

M: Mom, what is dynamite?

Me: It's something like a bomb. It explodes.

M: Right. And it's made from dinosaurs.

Me: What?

Sunday, June 10, 2007

The Lexicon of Parenthood

My, how things have changed in the last six years. All families have these personal words or phrases, inside jokes almost. It's funny to see them evolve in your own family as an adult.

Nightcap - noun - a baby bottle with approximately four ounces of formula (as opposed to the normal six or eight ounces), given to the baby just before putting him to bed for the night; used to convince droopy eyelids to close peacefully to sleep

Napcap - noun - the same small serving given just before naptime

Used in a sentence: "The baby's getting cranky. Will you fix him a nightcap and I'll take him to bed?"

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Jobs

M: When I grow up, I am going to be a doctor - a REAL doctor - or a veterinarian. Or a cowgirl.


Later while at a small art gallery shopping for a Father's Day gift for J -

G: Excuse me, Mrs. Art Store Lady? What is this? (gesturing to a small found item-type sculpture of a bird)

In the same regard, our housecleaner (the same one who has cleaned every two weeks since January and whose name I have told him several times) is generally Mrs. Cleaner Lady or Mrs. Cleaner. So, there's some semblance of manners there, right? Using the word "missus" indicates respect - just not enough respect to actually ask someone their proper name...

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Karate

G and M started karate classes this afternoon. I've been told that martial arts is very good for kids with attention issues, like G. The whole "self-discipline" approach and whatnot. It was a very interesting hour. The class was made up of about ten 4 and 5 year olds - boys and girls. All beginners. The instructor started the class by telling the preschoolers that "[t]he government of the United States is a democracy. My dojo is not. It is a dictatorship and I am the dictator. That means I am the boss and you do what I say." Wow. Not exactly the warm and fuzzy demeanor of preschool teachers, tot gymnastics coaches and tap dance instructors...

He didn't let any kid get away with not listening or doing what it was that he was telling them to do. After my initial blood pressure spike passed though, I listened and watched pretty intently. He never said anything mean or demeaning. He just called them on their shit. Not listening, not sitting still, messing around, whatever. And wouldn't you know it, after only about 5 or 10 minutes, my kids were following every damn instruction, almost to a T.

And no one cried. Or told me they don't want to go back.

AND, the very last instruction of class?

Mr. S: When is Mother's Day, guys?

M: Um, it's already past.

Mr. S: Wrong answer! When is Mother's Day, guys? Mother's Day is EVERY day! So, when is Mother's Day?

Kids: EVERY DAY!!!

Mr. S: Be good to your moms, guys. See you Thursday.

When J got home tonight, I asked G to tell him what he has to do when he gets to the dojo. G showed him the stiff little bow they do. And then I asked him what do they do when the leave the dojo. His answer: "Be good to my mom." (I was looking for him to do another Japanese-style bow...) I love it.

Saturday, June 2, 2007

Spanish...

Before my ever-weakening memory completely fails me, I need to add a few good ones from earlier this spring.

My kids watch "Dora" on Nickelodeon and "Handy Manny" on Disney Channel, so they think they're fluent in Spanish. Like the time, Kid #1 (GBM) looked at the sacker at the grocery - a darker-skinned guy - and said, "HOLA!" And this one:

MMM: You know Mom, St. Patrick's Day is the Spanish word for Easter.

and this one, after he fell down and hurt his knee:

GBM (rubbing his knee): Oh, my ankle!

Me: Buddy, that's your knee.

GBM: Oh! Well...ankle is the Spanish word for knee.

The Wildebeest Made Me Do It

Okay, so after several months of thinking about it and talking about it, I decided to do it. A blog. Not that I have that much to say, but a break from day-in and day-out conversations with preschoolers can be nice...Every time that one of my kids says something that makes me laugh out loud (a daily occurrence), I keep saying "I need to write that down!" So here I am.

My blog title is Four Funny Kids. I know that the older two are funny. They are 4 and 5. The younger two are only 5 months old. They look like they're probably going to be funny. They laugh a lot - so they must have good senses of humor?! Anyway, the wildebeest.

This evening, leaving a graduation party for a friend's son:


GBM, apropos of nothing: What's a wildebeest?

MMM, with utmost confidence and without missing a beat: A wildebeest is a...a...a special kind of a bear. From Hawaii. You know, where volcanoes live.

GBM: Oh.