Monday, August 27, 2007


Today, my cleaning service came for its "every other week" clean. They were almost finished when I returned from picking the big kids up from school at noon. Shortly thereafter, the supervisor arrived to do an inspection before the cleaners left. She came in and said hello while the kids were eating lunch. And this conversation transpired:

G: What kind of person are you?

Penny: What? Do you mean what do I do?

G: Yeah, what do you do?

Penny: Well, I just kind of wander around and make sure that everyone is doing what they're supposed to be doing.

G: Oh..... you're a grown-up!

Friday, August 24, 2007


Me: G, I told you that you could play on the computer for 30 minutes and then it would be M's turn, okay?

G: Okay.

Me: Where is M?

G: She's asleep.

Me: Where?

G: Right here. In my chair.

And So It Begins....

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Google Ads are Funny

Google Ads run on this site. I won't pretend to know how they really work but it has something to do with scanning the site for content and then placing "related" ads on the page. Hypothetically, I would then get paid when people clicked the ads (probably an approximate profit of one-millionth of a cent for each click). Since only three people read this blog, I think, I'm not raking in the dough. But it's funny to see how they work.

For example, the ads are usually child- or parenting-related. My posts are usually child- or parenting-related. But a few posts ago, I wrote about how my son was excitedly calling my husband's friend a "dude" because of his appearance. And the title of the post was "The Dude". No "Big Lebowski" ads. All of the Google ads became links to dude ranch vacations. Who knew?

Creating Your Own Reality

Day Three of Kindergarten. Out marches G's class to line up to be delivered into the waiting line of moms' cars. Without G. I sat in line and waiting for another teacher to bring him out. Maybe he had to use the bathroom? I knew better....

When the line reached me, G's teacher called out his name to come up and get in the car. Of course, he didn't answer. Because he wasn't there. She told me that she was sure that he had probably lingered at the front doors of the school, chatting with a teacher. Which would actually not surprise me in the least. He's a big socializer, with adults.

Finally, after all of the other children had been deposited into their respective mother's vehicles, out comes a teacher with G in tow. His teacher walked him to the car. When he saw me, he said:

MOM! Where have you been?!

I, of course, said: I've been right here. Where have YOU been?

G: My class got lost.

(He had actually tagged along with the line going to after-school care and then realized that he didn't know where he was going, so asked a teacher to help him find his class and his mom.)

Thursday, August 16, 2007


J is at the Chiefs-Dolphins exhibition game. It is the Dolphins they're playing tonight, right? Really, who cares. Anyway, that's where he is. He ran in from work, changed, explained to the kids where he was going and left. M's only question to him was if he was going to have dinner with us.

Cut to dinner conversation between my 4 year old and 5 year old:

M: G, do you ever miss Dad when he's

G: Work?

M: No, a, uh, meeting and a football game, where he is having dinner too?

G: Yeah, I do.

M: I really miss him a lot when he goes there. I even forget about him while he's gone.

G: Yeah, me too.

M: Me three.

Across the room, feeding babies, I'm thinking: Oh, the guilt trip I am going to launch with this story will be HUGE...

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

The Dude

My husband plays bass guitar in a cover band (which played exactly two shows last year and zero so far this year). The band rehearses periodically in my basement, usually after the kids are in bed. The guys came over last night before the big kids were in bed though. This was so M (again, four years old) could sing a song with them before she retired for the night: "She's Tight" by Cheap Trick. Yeah, I know....

Anyway, the kids know the other guitar player in the band, Steve, well and are always excited to see him. The drummer is a friend of Steve's and the kids have met him only once. Aaron does have a day job but has more of a stereotypical rock 'n roll appearance than the clean-cut mortgage lending members of the band. Specifically, Aaron has long-ish hair and some fairly large and visible tattoos.

So, when Steve and Aaron walked into our house last night very shortly before the kids' bedtime, G was very, very excited and kept saying, over and over, things like:

"Stevie! Stevie! You brought a DUDE with you!"
"Hey, Dude!"
"DUDE, nice tattoos!"
"WOW, look at those tattoos, Dude!"
"Mom, look! Steve brought a DUDE!"

He was told that the Dude's name was Aaron. Aaron showed G his tattoos. M sang Cheap Trick for everyone and I took them off to bed. G's last words before the lights went out (five minutes after leaving the basement where the band was)? "Mom, I miss Aaron..."


Side Note: G starts kindergarten on Friday. Sigh.

Thursday, August 9, 2007

God and the conjugation of English verbs and other important things

M told me today that God is an invisible spirit and when she ran into Him last night, He giggled. (Apparently, J, upon being asked what God was, told M that God is like an invisible spirit. Not sure why He is giggling.) UPDATE: J told M that God was always with us - like even in the room right now and that she might even bump into Him. And then He would giggle. An interesting theology lesson for you all...


Last night, G used the word "shit" - but he was trying to use the correct tense of the verb "shoot" when he did it. I wish I could remember exactly what he said - but J and I were laughing too hard once we figured out that he was talking about basketball.


And finally, M asked J how babies get into a mom's tummy. He pulled the best parent trick of all. Answered a totally different question - i.e. 'Babies start out really, really tiny and then they grow in the mommy's tummy until they're ready to be born.' She was completely satisfied by this answer. For now.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007


M: "Mom, I really need to go to that place so I can get my fingernails and toenails painted. I really need to get them painted."

She's four.

Saturday, August 4, 2007

Naked as the Day You Were Born

M: "Mom, when the babies were in your tummy, did they wear clothes?"

Friday, August 3, 2007

Monkeys and Floozies - A Day at the Zoo

Went to the zoo today. Not much to say about it - it was the zoo. The kids enjoyed it. It wasn't too crowded.

This monkey stretched its leg out while we were watching it, causing G to say: "Look! It has a hand on its foot!"

Also saw this:

The pictures may be too small. (Click on the image to get a good look. Go ahead. Do it.) High heeled Barbie shoes. Short, short denim shorts. Spaghetti strapped chiffon top (which, from the front, featured a good bit of cleavage). A mane of overprocessed, overdyed and over-"producted" hair. And a trendy shoulder bag. All very sensible and appropriate for a 95 degree day at the zoo. I didn't even try to hide the fact that I was taking pictures of her.

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Teeth and Star Wars

G lost his second tooth tonight. J actually pulled it, against G's will. There were tears. And more tears after he realized there was blood. Now, he's in bed. With a pair of pajama pants tied around his head as a "bandage" - kind of like the picture here. It's his "tooth pulling feel better invention."

I've been asked to call the tooth fairy to let her know that she'll need to stop by.

In other news: the kids have been playing a Star Wars video game on Xbox. G is pretty good at it. M informed me today that Princess Leia is on the "Light Side" and "Dark Vader" is from the "Dark Side." Also, C3PO is 3 years old. That, of course, makes guessed it, 2 years old. It all makes perfect sense in the mind of a 4 year old born more than 25 years after I first saw Star Wars at the big theater at the Glenwood. (Do you remember the Glenwood big theatre? It still beats the heck out of the new stadium seating multiplexes.)