Wednesday, January 30, 2008

More Rachael Ray...

Tried another recipe from my new-ish Rachael Ray cookbook tonight. The last one turned out well, but took more time that Ms. Ray suggested was necessary. This time? Total disaster. What supposedly should have taken 30 minutes took almost exactly 60. And it wasn't gourmet by any means. My intention was to try to broaden the horizons of my children's sad little palates, but just by a smidgen. Instead of neon orange macaroni and cheese from the box*, I thought I'd do this pasta with gruyere cheese sauce, topped with bacon. I mean, who doesn't like anything topped with bacon?

And I thought the bacon would ease the kids' pain of trying something new. Anyway, I'll cut to the chase. The shit was nasty. So, after 60 minutes of cooking with twin one-year olds whining and pulling at my legs, the result was so gross that my kids actually chose leftover tuna noodle casserole over it. I ate 5 bites and threw it out.

*I love Kraft mac and cheese, don't get me wrong. Just trying to introduce non-orange cheese to the little punks.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Even Preschoolers Realize It

While waiting in line at the bank drive-thru today, M noticed some construction going on next door. She asked me what they were building. I told her that I thought it was going to be a Starbucks.

M: Are you sure it's going to be a Starbucks?
Me: Yes.
M: But there are too many Starbuckses already. Maybe it's going to be a football stadium.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Channeling Holly Hunter

Sounding much like a line from Raising Arizona, these words actually came out of my mouth this week while changing one baby's diaper and trying to keep the other baby away from the action:

Get that cracker off of your brother's penis!

Friday, January 25, 2008

Not Funny Nor About the Kids

I'm not an overly emotional/sentimental person. Sure I cry at movies and Grey's Anatomy (I mean I would cry at Grey's if the writers' strike ever ended) and I have the occasional hormonal rant. And I have always been good at separating the realities of life and relationships from those depicted in movies. I sure as hell don't usually go around quoting movie lines for inspirational purposes. Lines from Raising Arizona? Sure. But nothing deep or emotional.


I watched most of "The Last Kiss" with Zach Braff last night. And this one line just struck me as so, so true. I'd never heard it put so simply and so succinctly.

What you feel only matters to you. It's what you do to the people you say you love, that's what matters. It's the only thing that counts.

Have a good day, people. Do good to those you love.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Happy Birthday MMM!

She's FIVE. I can't believe it. We registered for kindergarten roundup today. How did she get so old so fast?

Friday, January 18, 2008

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Observations on Rachael Ray

I received a Rachael Ray cookbook for my birthday and decided to try it out this week. Last night, I chose a recipe which was supposed to take 60 minutes (as opposed to her infamous 30 minute meals). I started at 4:14 p.m. and finished at 5:34 p.m., I think - or maybe it was 5:43. Anyway, I was 20 or 30 minutes off the mark.

As I was considering how exactly the timing was off, I realized - Rachael Ray does not have four children or a telephone on her Food Network set. She does not have a five year old girl sitting at the counter recounting her plans for visiting New York City when she turns 12. She does not have two one-year-olds opening cabinets, climbing stairs and pulling on her pantlegs. She does not have a six year old boy scavenging through her cabinets for raisins and then asking for help in opening the cellophane. She does not have friends calling about what to wear to a party or weekend plans in the midst of food prep.

So, I do actually believe that Rachael Ray is truthful about the time it takes to prepare her recipes - but she prepares her recipes in fantasyland kitchen and not in the real world of people who actually need 30 minute meals...

All that said, dinner was pretty good (I WILL NOT EVER SAY "YUMM-O!" or even "EVOO" - she might have decent recipes but her personality does drive me completely insane...). Beef sirloin braised in apple cider with sour cream/white cheddar mashed potatoes. The kids even liked it!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Religion Makes for Good Blog Fodder

After CCD last night, I asked the kids what they talked about. They told me that they learned about Jesus going to the desert and making bread from rocks. And then they asked me the name of that evil thing with wings that was on Jesus's shoulder in the desert, telling Him to do bad things. Being Catholic, I'm not terribly familiar with my Bible and I didn't immediately recognize their re-telling as the Temptation of Christ in the desert by Satan.

Anyway, we figured out that the evil thing with wings was the Devil. Today, all they can talk about is the Devil.

M: If the Devil told me to do a bad thing or to turn something into something else - like turn that tree or our house into a pineapple - I would tell him "No way, Jose!" and punch him in the face.

Thursday, January 10, 2008


It wasn't MY kid talking, but she was talking ABOUT my kid...

I'm watching the daughters of my best friend of 20 years today. The younger one just turned two. She watched me changing C's diaper a while ago.

K: Look, he has a tail!

(Do I need to explain to anyone that my son does not, in fact, have a tail? But does have a tiny little penis?)

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Happy Birthday!

The twins are one today! I can't believe that it's been a year...

Birthday cake was very interesting. C wouldn't touch it with his hands. H wouldn't stop touching it with his hands, face or mouth. Which is exactly opposite of what I would have predicted.

They've been a challenge. And a blessing. I can't wait to see what the next year brings!

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Okay, This is Getting Ridiculous

M, while working on a handwriting workbook at the kitchen table, just said to me:

Mom, are we going to get "The Safe Side"? It's funny and engaging.

Me: Is that a DVD?

M: Yes. It's never frightening and made by parents. Like Julie Clark, founder of the Baby Einstein company, and John Walsh.

Me: Who is John Walsh?

M: I don't know. Never heard of him.

Me: Oh.

M: So, are we going to get it?

Me: No.

M: Well, are we going to get Space Bag then?

Saturday, January 5, 2008

I've Got to Make Sure I Keep the Credit Cards Away From Them

In the past few days, in addition to the ever-popular Space Bag, my children have asked me (multiple times) if I need the:

Craft Lite Cutter

and the

Buxton Organizer (with special free gift - the Digital Message Reminder) - M helpfully noted that, if I had this one, I wouldn't always lose my Sam's card.

Friday, January 4, 2008

The Good News and the Bad News

In the car on the way home from dance class this morning, M came up with this little gem:

G, I've got good news and bad news. The bad news is that Dad has to go to work every day. The good news is that, when I grow up, I can pick out my own cereal. Like Cookie Crisp.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Laws of Nature

Not being a scientist by any stretch of the imagination, I think of "laws of nature" as things such as gravity, every action has an equal and opposite reaction, etc. The point of this post is not to debate whether those are, in fact, "laws." No, the point of this post is to add another to the list.

Everyone loves a fart joke.

As I may have mentioned, my 6 year old received 2 whoopee cushions in his stocking from Santa. Who knew Santa was so juvenile and perverse? Who knew they sold whoopee cushions at World Market?

Anyway, I just walked downstairs to observe said 6 year old entertaining his one year old brother. With the whoopee cushion. And the one year old was laughing harder than I've ever seen him laugh.

So, there you have it. Farts are funny. Even to one year olds.