Monday, March 31, 2008

Wildlife at My Back Window

Ahhh, nature. Here are my big kids and my husband during last week's "picnic down by the river." They ate popcorn and raisins and shared a sport bottle of water. M got neither sunburnt nor bug-bitten.

Here is one of the six deer that frequent our backyard. One of its siblings is a little further back in the shadows. You may have to click on these pictures to actually be able to see anything (I love that I'm pretending that you really care about my neighbor deer...)

Here is my good friend, the wild turkey. We don't see this one much - but it marches through from time to time. We also have a raccoon neighbor - but we haven't seen much of her yet. I think she'll move into one of our trees pretty soon to have her babies. I know you'll all be waiting impatiently for a photo. Heh.

And, here is the wildest creature of all...

Isn't he lovely?

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Check out!

A friend and I have been hard at work on a brand new website, It's a site where we hope to help moms and dads find fun things to do with their kids all around Kansas City. The site is now officially "live!" Check it out, ask us all about it and pass it along to anyone who might be interested in having family FUN in Kansas City! We hope KC Kids Fun will become a site where parents, grandparents, teachers, caregivers or anyone else looking to have FUN in and around Kansas City can go to find up-to-date information and links to other websites as well.

I'm also writing web content and blogging for several other websites (not run by me) now. It's a new and interesting experience - I'll keep you updated!

Friday, March 28, 2008

Conversation with My Daughter, 3/27/08

M: I'm glad I'm gonna be grown up soon. Like a teenager.

Me: Why?

M: Because then I can wear whatever I want. All the time.

Me: I guess that's true.

M: I'll still be funny though. Even when I'm grown up and a teenager. I'll always be funny.

And I'm not glad about any of it. Not one bit. Not the growing up and not the wearing whatever she wants. (I do enjoy her funny-ness though.) Also? Quick reminder - she's five.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Random Tuesday Funnies

M and I made muffins today. She got out a step stool to see into the mixing bowl. While she was setting it up, she banged it into the cabinets pretty good.

Her five-year old response? "Ugh. My bad."


After religion class tonight, G told me that a big kid had been chasing him in the school gym while they waited for me.

"The wide kid was chasing me."

At this point, I thought he was saying "white kid" which I've never heard him say before, but there are a lot of kids of color in his religion class. He went on...

"It was okay though because the thin kid stopped him. The thin kid stopped the wide kid. You know, the one with the wide belly." "Who?!" "The fat kid, Mom."

Monday, March 24, 2008

Picture Pages, Picture Pages*

"Do Mom and Dad realize that it's snowing and the big kids are running around with WalMart bags looking for colored plastic eggs?" "Are we supposed to be doing something? 'Cause it's just too frickin' cold to move. That and the texture of grass freaks me out."

Which one of these unnaturally unphotogenic children is least likely to develop skin cancer? Do you think the hat and the umbrella are overkill? Should I mention that she also insisted on being coated in bug spray, even though it's still too cold for bugs? They were on an adventure/picnic "down by the river" - which is a creek that runs behind our house.

And this one just makes my heart swell. Best friends. I wish I knew what they were saying to each other. Actually, I don't because I'm sure it involves M telling G what to do and that kind of ruins the moment...

*Does anyone remember "Picture Pages" from the Captain Kangaroo show? I'm singing the theme song in my head right now. And may be doing so for the next few days...

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Sometimes They Really Have It Figured Out

During dinner tonight (after eating the required five bites of peas):

M: Peas make you strong. And you know what else makes you strong? Vegetables!

G: And fruit!

M: And steak!

G: And chicken!

M: Right. Not candy or anything bad for you. That doesn't make you strong.

G: Just real food.

M: And we're doing a FRICKIN' good job at it!

Well, yeah. If you don't count the jumbo box of Froot Loops we bought at Target yesterday...


Overheard from the kitchen this morning:

M: G, did you know that Mom is leaving and that [our cousin] is coming to babysit us today?

G: No she's not.

M: Yes she is. Mom told me.

G: No. She is not. Babysitting is for babies. "Taking care" is for big kids. She's coming to take care of us. Because We. Are. Not. Babies!

[Note: I'm going out to lunch today. Yay! Just like a real grown-up. How pathetic is my life that I'm so excited? Now I have to go clean the house quick-like for the sitter. So she doesn't think (realize?) that we live like animals. Yes, the babies' breakfast is still on the kitchen floor. It's 11 o'clock. And, yes, they eat breakfast off the floor. It's Cheerios and dry waffles if you're wondering. Don't judge. Unless you've ever had a 5 year old, a 6 year old and one year old twins. Or you're my mom. Then? Feel free to judge.]

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

First Blood, or Toddler Mixed Martial Arts in My Living Room

This morning, in between dressing babies, I went to the kitchen to unload the dishwasher. Moments later, I was summoned to the living room by panicked shrieks and screams. I found C and H both in the toy basket (a new trick). C had H in a full mount. And was beating him about the skull with a toy. A very hard toy. So, after rescuing H and dressing him, I did what any good mother would do. Took pictures.

This is a full mount, in mixed martial arts. You're frightened that I know this.

The scene of the crime, just moments before the assault. Notice C's angelic face and H's unwitting demeanor.

The victim.

The injury. Didn't photograph very well. It's a pretty good welt.

The suspect. "Who? Me?"

The weapon. He tried to dispose of it. I found it.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

M's Fashion Diary, 3/9/08

Depending entirely on my daughter's sartorial choices, I hope to add this as a regular (maybe bi-weekly) feature to "Four Funny Kids." She largely insists on dressing herself. I largely allow her to do so, if she is not leaving the house (i.e. after school and on weekends). She has an interesting sense of style.

This started out innocently as jeans and green long-sleeved t-shirt. And then came the ladies' size S KANSAS t-shirt in hot pink, the summer camp necklace (complete with masking tape nametag), the rose-colored Hello Kitty sunglasses and the pink with silver glitter beret. An altogether kicky look, I think.

There's so much more to this one than the eye can see. At the beginning of the day, there was a black leotard, black chiffon ballet skirt and pink tights. On top of that went the hot pink velour sweatpants and the black long-sleeved T with skull and crossbones. And then later in the day, when she decided to go outside to the driveway to play, she added the satin cami, tulle overskirt and black snow boots. She blew bubbles, rode bikes and scooters and played with the neighbor's new RC truck...

The snow boots came out again a few days later. What you can't see in this photo is the nature of the garment she is wearing under the short-sleeved Hello Kitty t-shirt. I told her that she could wear the Hello Kitty shirt as long as she put on something warm underneath it. Of course, I was thinking of a turtleneck or a long sleeved T. She came out with Hello Kitty barely squeezed over a bulky black Fair Isle ski sweater. Add the glasses and a sassy bow? And you've got an outfit.

It wasn't raining.

I told her she could change after church. She chose to keep her original shirt and tights and add a spaghetti strap sundress she outgrew last summer and Sleeping Beauty dress-up shoes. Wore 'em all day.

I swear to God that I have nothing to do with these ensembles. This was black leggings with a navy and pink striped shirt, topped by her Minnie Mouse Halloween costume and some flower headband that was actually a package bow at one time. Oh! And blue snowflake and penguin socks. The face is her attempt at dissuading me from continually photographing her outfits.

A short while later, she was told that she could not wear her Minnie Mouse dress if she was going to go with J to drop something at a friend's house. This is what she came up with instead. Lost the costume and headband. Added the hot pink Crocs, lime green corduroy jacket and the ubiquitous Hello Kitty sunglasses. And another attempt to keep me from taking the picture.

This is a normal two weeks. I may or may not have another, similar post later this month. Stay tuned...

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Date Night Update

Pizza and ice skating (here in town - didn't quite make it to China).
My butt is going to hate me...for the pizza AND the ice skating.

Friday, March 7, 2008

Date Night

Tonight, J and I are taking the big kids out, leaving the babies with a sitter. We haven't spent time with G and M on their own in a while. Before the babies were born, we went out to eat a lot and actually did things outside of the house. So, tonight - date night with the big kids!

I've asked them for their ideas as to what to do. So far, they've come up with:

Go to Chuck E. Cheese

"Look" at toys at the toy store

Go the guitar store and buy Dad a "two neck" guitar

Go to China

Go to IHOP for dinner and then get our nails polished while Dad and G watch (and talk)

I'll post an update tomorrow....I know you'll all be waiting with bated breath.

At Least Her Priorities Are Straight

M just told me, over lunch, that she is very excited that Easter is coming up. Then she said:

I love Jesus.....And I love soccer.

(Note to reader: It may seem, due to the content of this blog, that we are a religious family. While we are not NOT a religious family, we don't talk about church and Jesus and religion and the Bible nearly as much as my blog makes it seem. The funniest shit comes out their little mouths and brains when talking about religion though. It consistently makes me giggle. So, the "I love Jesus" statement? Not at all normal conversation around here. Which makes it that much funnier to hear from the mouth of my preschooler between bites of Filet O'Fish.)

Thursday, March 6, 2008

I Am Frightened for Humanity

I drove behind a (nice) Chevy pickup today with a HUGE Nike decal across the back windshield. WTF? He just loves those particular athletic shoes? So much that he had to broadcast it to the world? Big shoe fan, this guy.

Oh? And also? He had these on his trailer hitch.

Photo is from the internets - this is not the actual truck I saw.

Wicked cool.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Don't Recall This One from Sophomore Anatomy

G has decided that he is old enough to handle most of the regular showering tasks on his own now. I apply the shampoo. He rubs it in and rinses it out. He soaps himself up, under my supervision (to make sure that no important parts are missed). Last night, while washing his legs, he said, "Look Mom. I'm scrubbing my leg pits!"

That would be the very top of the inside of your thigh, next to your crotch. Leg pits. It makes perfect sense actually.

Monday, March 3, 2008

And Also? Humble.

Conversation from my driveway this weekend:

M: Hey Ryan. Ryan. Ryan.
Ryan (neighbor, 6 years old): WHAT?
M: I'm smart. Like really smart. WAAAAAAYYY smart.
Ryan: Oh.
M: Did you know that dinosaurs are extinct?
Ryan: Yeah. They're dead.
M: Which is a good thing because I would NOT want a T-Rex to find me and eat me. I would really miss my mom. And I wouldn't be smart anymore.