Thursday, September 3, 2009

Dear Walmarts

Dear Walmarts:

The cost/benefit ratio can't be favorable to you. When a mother of toddler(s) walks into your gargantuan "super" store and is immediately confronted with a coin-operated kiddie car, are many really stopping to pump it full of quarters before continuing with their shopping extravaganza?

I quit you once before because of this. About five years ago. G was 2. The Mickey Mouse car at the entrance caused me to lose my shit in front of the poor, kind, retired greeter. As I dragged my screaming child out of your store by his armpit, pushing the shopping cart containing one-year-old M precariously with one hand, I believe I said something along the lines of "I will NEVER come back to this fucking store until all of the goddamn kiddie rides and vending machines are GONE!"

My boycott lasted a little while. I stuck to my guns for about a year if I recall correctly. And the kids grew and I forgot and forgave.

Until today.

At one of your "super" stores, you've got these ridiculous cars at both entrance/exits. We just needed to grab something for dinner while G was at his piano lesson. When C was told "no car", he lost it. Stopped near the entrance and cried and screamed and generally carried on.

I stood and watched. Waiting for his energy to wane. I finally coaxed him into walking with us. Only to have the same routine repeat itself in the bread aisle. I again stood and watched. Garnering looks from other shoppers - some kind, some not. (No one slapped my kid though - at least I've got that going for me.)

In the end, he was too tired to get his shit together and recover while in the store. So, we abandoned our cart and left.

Dollars forfeited to you, Walmart. ZERO.

Aren't you glad you asked for that f'ing quarter at the entrance? It probably cost you about $50.

I won't be back until at least kindergarten.


1 comment:

  1. Ha ha. I have many, many reasons why I won't go to Walmart...and whenever I break my vow and go there, I always end up regretting it.