Here's a good one from C (newly five-years-old) from today:
- "Mom, is it okay if I say the word 'shit'?" (Uh, nope.) "Okay."
And from Twitter over the past few months:
- "Don't lick my bandaid." (One twin to the other.)
- Most important events of 2011, according to M (age 9): Osama bin Laden killed and The Muppets released.
- Just found out parent meeting for daughter's new Brownie troop will be at Tanners [a bar]. Love this troop already..
- Just got into major argument with my husband abt Jay-Z. Of course, he was drunk. My husband, not Jay-Z.
- My directionally challenged husband: "Did you know Martin City isn't at 151st and Kenneth Road anymore?" Yeah, it never was...Good God
- My 4YO has suddenly turned Canadian. Keeps telling me to "forgetabootit".
- I have been anointed as the "worst mom ever" by my smallest kid. Just surprised it took until after 5 o'clock
- "I wish only Dad & me lived here. Not you." So says the 4YO, who follows it up with "I'm ready to be nice now. Can I go outside?"
- I've seen (but don't understand) husband/wife FB accts before. Today, I saw a joint LinkedIn acct. Is there a rational explanation for this?
- My 4yo just informed me that "booty" is not a bad word. And that marshmellows are now called "barfmellows". Oh, to be 4...
- One of my four year olds just told me he was going to bed. Is now putting himself to bed. Aaaaaand, he's back. "Just kidding," he says.
- Call me a bad mom if you will but preschool Christmas programs are excruciating.
- I hope they don't discover that Febreze causes cancer at some point. My existence (with 3 sons & a husband) depends on Febreze. Ew.
- Yesterday, all of my kids were singing Red Solo Cup. Today, Friday by Rebecca Black. 2012 goal? Force my kids to listen to better music.